Tuesday, January 14, 2014

叛逆的D.N.A

This has always been the moment I was waiting for back then.
A time where I was left to be alone.
No judgement, no complaints.
No nothing.

A time where I can be myself.
No explanations. No clarification.
No shit.

A near complete silence accompanied with only a steady rhythm of the weakened heartbeats.
I was nocturnal.
Back then.

Till this thing started taking away my morning sleep ins, late night movies,
Freedom to come and go as I want, in exchange for some allowances at the end of each month.
It was and still is, my job. A white collar job that seems good to everyone.
Everyone I said? Maybe. Maybe not everyone.

Not me.

If it is not for the money, I wouldn't have done what I am doing now.
It is true that when you reach a certain age, you gotta have your future planned.
I don't know man.

I keep hearing people say do something that you like.
Be passionate about what you are doing.
It's your life. And life is short... bla bla bla....

Well, this is controversial.
What if your talent has no monetary value?
Would you continue doing that?
At the end of the day, your passion won't be able to feed your hungry stomach.

Come to think of it,
How many of the people who struggle to make ends meet can say something like that.
And those who keep saying that, are they trying to brainwash us,
Or they are doing the same to themselves as well.
Hypnotizing.

I am not trying to be negative here.
I just hate sugarcoating.

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那一天和同事们一起吃饭,
(对,是同事,我踏入社会了,开始做工了,
离开了小朋友的世界,变成熟稳重了,但这不是重点。)
吃着,聊着,聊起了关于中学的校规。
有几个是女校生,有几个是男校生。

有些是典型的好学生,
只是逃课,但不逃学。
只是作弊,但不拿分。(假的)

有些学校甚至先进到连上学点名都是用一张ID,
有没有来上课,看记录就知道。
然后食堂消费也是用ID付费。

有的校规特别离谱,头发不能长过眉毛,
裙不可以太短,鼻子毛不可以长出来,耳朵不可以有屎,
胸毛不可以长过1cm,不可以讲话,只可以用手比。
(有些是自己加的。)

重点是有些真的不可理喻的校规,
长发影响你的记忆,考试不及格?
带 liquid 上课就一定会涂桌子?
拿刀片去就一定会杀人?
指甲长晚上就一定会变吸血鬼?

基本上大家都在比谁的中学守规守得比较辛苦。
但是,大家却忘了一点,中学不叛逆,等什么时候?

对,是有很多不逻辑的校规,
就是这些校规才可以提供学生们叛逆和犯规的机会,
试想想,如果一直让学生压抑着叛逆的心情,
出社会后一定爆发,就像breaking bad这样。

我觉得,中学就是叛逆,放肆的时候,
比如,我是说比如,
逃课去打game然后遇上警察,然后还要留下来跟警察辩论。
然后几年后再当上各大学会的主席/团长/营长,
SPM还要考到很多个A,然后到处飞。
上课到一半跑去踢球然后还要假装没有流汗,拼命用tisu抹,去办公室吹aircon.
一直逃学然后索性直接去买MC,跟医生变朋友。
明明下课后不可以穿体育衣,却还要光明正大走进办公室。
老师没有来就去办公室偷 A4 纸,到毕业后都还没有用完。
去lab做experiment,就是experience看一节可以打破几个beaker,
去physic lab,就是去打 baseball,坏掉的lab chair就是base.
生气时拿粉笔丢人,还要慢慢拾起来,
SPM收考卷的门,可以弄坏然后把里面的rubber和铅笔拿来分。
然后永远没有人主动承认自己弄坏。

还有很多很多的叛逆,
也只有因为有校规的存在,才能满足叛逆的欲望。

过去的你,
是叛逆了,还是顺从了?

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原谅我总是不断的顶嘴,狡辩 ,,
甚至不断的宣扬自己的歪理和奇怪的逻辑,
来换取你的白眼和无奈。

总是被别人认为
自己是一个奇怪的灵魂,
套在一个叛逆的身躯,
再加上没有人可以完全理解的言行举止。

或许在某一个程度上,
我们都还保留着一点点叛逆的DNA,
为了叛逆而叛逆,为了狡辩而狡辩,
却忘了我们早就离开了校园。
不再受校规绑着。

请允许我自私一点,
保留一点点的叛逆。
一点点就够了。


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